The OWCA Christmas Party
by Ex libris anonymi
Summary: Carl- after misinterpreting something Major Monogram said- throws a Christmas party at the agency with the help of his cousin Dwayne. My OC. Will things get out of hand? Rated M minus for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note:

UMMM I don't have much to say but I hop you enjoy! Wanted to do something Christmas themed story. Please read and review! I really enjoy reading reviews to improve my writing so please, please, please, please, PLEASE! REVIEW ,REVIEW, REVIEW!

CHAPTER 1: The phone call

It was just a usual day at the OWCA. Agents came in and out waiting for their assignments for the day and when the morning rush went the only two people left in the building were Carl, Monogram, and maybe some Janitors. Carl was listening to his Ipod (probably listening to doctor coconut) while trying to invent a new gadget to give to the agents. Monogram walked in their office with a slushie burger bag humming the catchy jingle.

"Pickles so green and meat so brown lunch times fun with Slushie the Clown!"

Monogram sat at his desk and was just about to take a bite if hamburger when his desk phone rang. The little red light was flashing in the corner meaning it was an emergency. He quick picked it up.

"Ruff rrruuufff"

"What is it agent D."

"*pant, pant, pant*"

"You're not serious are you?"

"Grrrrr"

"Ok, ok thanks for the update"

"Woof"

Monogram hung up the phone and tapped Carl on the back. Carl jumped and quick paused his music.

"Don't scare me like that! Geeze you almost gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry Carl its just that agent D just called and said that he had just got some information from an agent who told an agent who told an agent who told an agent who heard from his grandma who heard from the presidents ex body guard who just got fired for smoking talking weed in the presidents bathroom (don't ask me how that works it just does) that the president is coming for a surprise visit to check up on the agency."

"Oh boy" Carl says in shock.

"I never knew you could speak dog"

"That's not important"

Carl gives him a confused look.

"Anyways I have to run to the store to pick up some things"

"Ok"

*Carl puts his music back on only to realize that Monogram was still talking to him*. He quick turned his music off but this is what he heard

*muffled* don't *un-muffled* throw a Christmas party when I'm gone.

*in a joking way*

Carl then squealed for joy and said in a over excited way

"Yes sir!"


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: I am now changing the rating to M because its gets worse from here on out. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Chapter 2: A Visit from Cousin Dwayne

Monogram walked out the door with a little chuckle. As soon as Major Monogram shut the door Carl ran to his computer and typed in…

Facebook. com

Then of course he signed in

Email: O_W_C_ACarlyahoo. Com

Password: doctorcoconut00

Then he updated his status to…..

THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!

He then pulled up a new word document and started typing party plans.

OWCA Xmas party

Time: Tomorrow 12:00 PM till whenever

Who: Agents and whoever works here

Activities: Make Christmas cookies, exchange presents, eat Christmas cake, play pin the star on the tree, and dance to Christmas music.

To eat/drink: Soda, Punch, Christmas snacks, candy, cake, ETC.

Where- Meeting room

Be there or be square!

Just as he was about to make it a facebook event he got a phone call. He answered

"Hi, this is the receptionist"

"Hi"

"You have a visitor can I send him up"

"Sure! Who so ever could it be?"

"Carl"

"Yes"

"Sometimes I think you're gay"

"HEY"

"Anyways it's your cousin Dwayne"

"COUSIN DWAYNE! DON'T SEND HIM UP!"

"Too late"

"Crap"

Carl quick hangs up the phone and runs for the door. He was Just about to make it to the door but yet again too late. His cousin barged in.

"Hey! Sup lil' cuz' long time no see my nigga!"

"Hi Dwayne" Carl says as he rolls his eyes.

Cousin Dwayne isn't technically Carl's cousin. They are half cousins. Dwayne is an ex-convict who used to live in Harlem but moved here last month and works at the convient store across the street from where Carl lives. He doesn't talk much unless he has to. And most people are scared of him because to people he doesn't know he give them the weird "I'm gonna kill you fool" look. Carl hates Dwayne. Why you ask? Everything Carls done in life Dwayne ruined it. At Carls High School Prom he ran the beverage stand. And of course when Carl wasn't looking Dwayne Spiked the punch and got everybody drunk. Carl got in major trouble and was suspended from school for a week. Now Dwayne lives with their Grandma. Carl was furious when he found out because he loved visiting Grandma but now he is afraid to even go over there because he thinks something bad will happen.

"What do you want Dwayne"

"I just wanted to visit my favorite lil' cuz' at work"

"I'm your only little cousin"

"Oh right"

"Sometimes Dwayne you-"

Dwayne cuts him off

"What are you doing anyway?"

"None of your B.I business"

"Yo so uptight. Maybe that's why you never been laid"

"Yes I have!"

"Sure you have"

"Did too"

"Then tell me about it"

"That's personal"

"Exactly"

"Whatever!"

Dwayne read over his shoulder

"Oww-kah Christmas party. What's Oww-kah?"

"Dwayne sometimes I think you have the IQ of a 6 year old"

"Wait your planning a office Christmas party!"

"Yes Dwayne"

"Sweet I wanna help!"

"NO!"

"Please?"

"NO! NO! NO!"

"What if I just make some changes to yo plans and you can check them over?"

"Fine…"

"Yessss"

Dwayne pushed Carl away in the in the roller chair and as Dwayne started typing this is what you heard.

"Ahhh! *crash* Oww"

"Sorry Lil cuz!"

"Fuck you Dwayne"

Dwayne continued typing.

Carl got up and walked off his crash with the water cooler.

He cleaned up the water and replaced it with new water.

Then he went to check on Dwayne.

"Hey wigger I finished"

"Fine, coming, and I am in no shape or form your "wigger""

Carl started reading Dwaynes plans.

OWCA Xmas Party

Time: 12:00-?

Who: Dwayne, Carl, Janitors, Hot receptionist down stairs, agents.

Activities: Dance to music, get santa to come with his stripper friends, smoke talking weed

To eat/drink: lots of alcohol, talking weed, chocolate fountain

Where: Meeting room

Be there or be a fag!

"NO! NO! NO!"

"Whyyy"

"I'd get fired"

"I'd know you'd say no because your so uptight"

"Nuh-uh"

"Uh-huh"

"Are you crazy? You cant give the agents chocolate, you'll kill them!"

"Oh"

"And Santa doesn't have stripper friends!"

"Obviously a fake santa cuz Santas not real"

"Yes he is!"

"You still believe in santa that's sad"

"I just happen to know Santa"

"Sure you do Carl"

"Whatever"

"Listen Carl, you want to get laid?"

"NO!"

"I always knew you were gay"

"Im not gay!"

"Sure your not"

"Whatever!"

"I think having a party like this will be good for you"

"What do you mean?"

"It will loosen you up a bit"

"Maybe…"

"Say yes, say yes, say yes"

"Fine"

"Yesss"

"But its only to prove to you that im not gay"

"Alright"

"But if we get caught its all your idea"

'Fine"

"This is gonna be off the hizzle"

Carl gave Dwayne his cell phone to start calling people while Carl made it a facebook event.

Carl thought to himself.

Is this a good idea, or am I gonna regret this?


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**** Okay, Okay I know this is a little bit unexpected; especially that it is no longer Christmas time… We can just call this Christmas in June. I have no new ideas regarding "A Day In The Office" But I thought that If I continued this story that it would give me new ideas because Dwayne is also a character in that story. So anyways ENJOY!**

**P.S the asterisk means the dialogue of the other characters that you can't hear because it is what carl is hearing. **

Ch. 3.

Carl knew he had to get at least some work done before the party, So he went over to his workbench and started of thinking of new gadgets and gizmos and fixing other agents tools while Dwayne started making phone calls for the party.

Carl's IPod was dead so he was forced to listen to Dwayne make the phone calls. Then he thought he might as well should so he can make sure Dwayne didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to do.

"What's the number to call down to the front desk?" Dwayne asked.

"Why?" Carl replied

"I gots to call the hot receptionist downstairs."

"Cara?"

"Yeah I guess, if that's her name"

"Oh no, no, no, no, no way, anybody but her"

"Why! She is super-hot and this is supposed to be an office party isn't it?"

"Fine….., But only because I have to be nice to everybody in the office."

"Sweet, why wouldn't you want her to come"

"Long story…,"

"I will never look at a loofah the same way again." Carl said under his breath.

"What?"Dwayne said.

"Nothing, oh nothing." Carl said in a sad tone.

"Anyways what's that number again"

"The only way I am giving you that number is that you promise to keep her away from me!"

"Alright, Alright fine."

"The number is on the wall next to you on the number tree"

"'Kay" replied Dwayne.

Dwayne types in the 4 digit code which connects with the receptionist. he only waits for about 1 second and the receptionist is on the phone.

"No this isn't Carl this is his cousin Dwayne."

"I know, I know this is the emergency line but, this is an emergency"

"Me and Carl are having a bitchin' party tonight in the meeting room, and you are invited as well as all the other agents."

"'ight, 'ight, great see you then. Oh and can you email all the other agents alerting them about the party"

"Cool, bye"

"Hey Carl…." Dwayne called across the room in a sing-songy voice.

"What, is it this time Dwayne. I am trying to work!" Carl said in an angry tone.

"Cara said she is very excited to see you tonight and she said she is bringing her "Loofah" whatever that means"

Carl yelped and hid under the table.

"Gosh I never thought one person could be so afraid of having a hot girl coming to a drinking party and most likely being able to get laid"

Carl yelps again.

"You're a freak of nature"

Carl grunted while he positioned himself in the fetal position.

"Sometimes Carl I think you have mental problems"

Carl didn't respond so he got back to work.

He picked up the phone again and dialed the Number of a DJ Company he usually has at all his parties.

"Yes I would like to hire a DJ for tonight."

"600 dollars for one night are you fucking high!"

"Can I talk to Jamar"

"Bitch-"

"Put me on the phone wi-"

"BITCH PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH JAMAR BEFORE I CLIMB THROUGH YOUR WINDOW, AND START SNATCHIN' YOUR PEOPLE UP, IM GONNA RAPE EM' , SO YOU BETTER HIDE YOUR KIDS AND HIDE YOUR WIFE!

"Thank you"

"Don't get no god damn respect"

Carl was listening from under the table and still trying to erase the memory from the awful day.

"Finally, Jamar Hey dawg'"

"Yeah, yeah, I gotta make this phone call quick 'cuz I got to make more calls"

"Yeah, I gotta big party going on tonight so I was wondering if you could DJ for me tonight, but you guys raised your prices from last time I used your company"

"Yeah, yeah, I know the economy sucks and all but-"

"OK how 'bout this, we can make deal; you DJ tonight and you can have some of the talking weed that we are gonna have at the party plus the food and fun and games if you know what I'm saying"

"'ight see you then, I'll text you the details" 

"Oh yeah and teach your receptionist how to give me some R-E-S-P-E-C-T"

"mmkay bye"

"kay little cuz We are hooked up with music"

Carl yet again didn't respond.

"Oh yeah Carl, I need "Santa's" number"

The only reason Carl continued to talk to Dwayne and talk to him was to prove him that Santa was real. And Carl can't hold a grudge for that long anyway.

"I am not giving you his number but I will dial it for you"

"Whatever you got to do"

"Dang, I forgot the area code for the North Pole do you know it?"

"Yeah sure let me just look at my dick because that's where Mrs. Clause left it… NO CARL I DON'T HAVE THE FUCKING AREA CODE FOR THE NORTH POLE!"

"I WAS JUST WONDERING!"

Carl suddenly remembered the area code and dialed it and passed the phone to Dwayne.

It began to ring when someone picked up.

"Yes this is the OWCA looking for Santa" Dwayne said with a chuckle"

"I'm on hold..." Dwayne said to Carl still laughing.

Carl just rolled his eyes.

"No this is Carl's cousin Dwayne, I was wondering if you were in the mood to come to a party tonight at the OWCA" Dwayne was trying really hard to hold back hysterically laughing.

"Yes, We would like if you could bring your stripper friends…" Dwayne said kind of shocked.

"Okay I will see you then, bye"

Dwayne hung up the phone.

"HA, I TOLD YOU SANTA WAS REAL"

"I still won't believe it in till I see it!"

"Fine whatever"

"Anyways I have to go get food, weed, and alcohol for the party."

"Alright see yah"

Yet again carl still thought this was a really bad idea.


End file.
